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Do you Pause or do you Leap?

January 1, 2018

 

How often do we allow ourselves to pause, reflect, and simply allow the answers to find us when it is time to be found?

 

It’s generally in my personality to JUMP then ask questions.  I am not sure if this comes from a zest of life, impatience, or some crazy need to always be moving forward.  Most of the time, this attitude of JUMP works for me.  It fits with the essence of who I am and because I can be reflective and learn from mistakes I’m able to jump more intelligently each time.

 

But sometimes JUMPING is not the right answer and recognizing that takes courage. Just as much courage as it takes to jump.  I found this lesson very difficult when trying to determine what the name of my company would be.  I started this journey of Leadership Coaching, Training and Speaking officially in June last year when I had my first gig at the Junior League of Greater Fort Lauderdale when I taught on John Maxwell’s book Everyone Communicates, Few Connect.  At the time, I remember thinking I need a name, a logo, marketing materials, etc.  But the name and the logo had not “come to me”.  I kept trying on different names and nothing fit.  So I decided to simply go with my name, Tracy Prabhu, while I continued to search for the right company name and logo.

 

The waiting drove me crazy.  Seriously. Crazzzy.  I kept wanting to force it.  I felt that I had to have this nailed down or I wasn’t a business.  Somehow, I was equating a business name to being legitimate. 

 

But even with the craziness of waiting I knew instinctually that the name would come to me when it was time.  And if I would just breathe and be patient what was meant to be would be.  I had no idea it would take 8 months.

 

But a few weeks ago, I was driving home listening to the song “When I get to where I’m going” which was a song we played at my friend Kathryn’s celebration of life service.  I was of course crying because the pain of the loss  of her is still so strong.  I was stopped at a stop light when a burst of light flashed across my mind (seriously…this really bright light) and the words Amazing Grace presented themselves to me.  And if you thought I was already crying you should have seen me then! I literally clapped my hand over my mouth to contain the sobbing. 

 

With those words, Amazing Grace, the name of my company had finally found me.  And it was a gift from my dear friend Kathryn.  As the words came to me I felt such a sense of love and knew she had sent me a message.  See Amazing Grace was not a new term for us.  Many years ago she had given me a bottle of perfume called Amazing Grace that I fell in love with and wore as a signature scent for many years.  To date it is still one of the only perfumes I can wear that does not give me a raging migraine headache.  Over the years, Kathryn had given me several bottles as gifts and it became a thing for us. 

 

I loved this perfume not only because of the scent but also because of the message on the box.

 

"how you climb up the mountain is just as important as how you get down the mountain. and so it is with life, which for many of us becomes one big gigantic test followed by one big gigantic lesson. in the end, it all comes down to one word. grace. it's how you accept winning and losing, good luck and bad luck, the darkness and the light." Philosphy

 

 

This philosophy spoke to me in a way that I had not been able to explain before. Kathryn used to laugh that only I would wear a perfume for many years because I liked the messaging on the box. But it was true. It was like a mantra for me.

 

So when the words Amazing Grace popped into my head I knew that they had come from Kathryn. And I knew this was a way for me to keep her memory alive and close to me.  By having her be a part of my name meant that she would be with me every step of the way of this journey.

 

I learned many lesson when Kathryn was dying. Some I wish I never had to learn. And others that I’m so very grateful for.  Like the lesson that life is precious and fleeting. I learned that to live a life fully for me meant living a life of making an impact in the lives of others. 

 

In that moment when she brought me the name Kathryn taught me another lesson. It’s ok to wait and not rush things.  Sometimes life brings things to you when and only when it’s time. 

 

Thanks Kathryn. I love you and I miss you.

 

Namaste!

 

 

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